artistic vices

"What day did god create Spinal Tap, and couldn't he have rested that day?"

Sun, 03 Dec 2006 12:08:42 GMT

Fucking genius:

This tuneless headache of a band, modeled on the jangly psychedelic rock of mid-1960s Britain and Los Angeles, was well on its way into obscurity when, two years ago, it was featured in a hit documentary, “Dig!,” and a legend was created. Since then the band has toured widely, to audiences who wait for its leader, Anton Newcombe, to lash out in paranoia and kick a fan in the head, as he did in the film.

Tears of laughter. You couldn't get more Spinal Tap if you tried. EXCELLENT.

I hate people that take their favourite band so seriously that they can't laugh about anyone satirising / taking the piss out of them. I love the BJM but I still think the above is brilliant.

Genius!

Fri, 01 Dec 2006 11:42:53 GMT

Haha, just got a message from a friend in Iceland. She sold some of my BJM fanzines at the gig there - apparently someone got Joel from the band to autograph their copy of the fanzine!

That's just great, and sweet.

Hm, I gave up on autographs the day that I lost my entire book of autographs / every gig ticket I ever had, in 2004. I still don't understand how that happened. Moving is bad.

Also, I realised I have consciously never had a photo of me taken with a band / musician, depsite having ample opportunties. I'ma gonna keep it that way methinks.

"Perfect day"

Tue, 28 Nov 2006 14:58:45 GMT

Yesterday was a chiselled statue of perfection.

I had the most fabulous day of solitude and bliss in Brighton. I lapped up the stupidity of tourists avoiding seaside towns in winter; when truly the sea is a joy to behold all year round.

I have never seen waves so choppy and ferociously frantically feral as yesterday; hitherto only gazed at in oil paintings. It was vitally enlivening.

My camera failed to capture the full scale of dramatic motion, but still...

The only thing mightier than us is the sea. The power to devour, drown and encompass all. I was immobilised by the majesty.

British Sea Power the ideal orchestration of soundtrack to the sussurating chorus...

Pier peer..

New friend..

And the sun a globe of maddened red closed the temperate day soothingly...

"Crush me like a terrapin!"

Tue, 28 Nov 2006 11:28:45 GMT

I can die happy now.. because I've met Pete Voss!

Fucking hell, he just randomly turned up at the Brian Jonestown aftershow party in London and got onstage and started rapping!

Of course, I had to exchange words with this indie legend of yore. His band, Campag Velocette [YES, you DO remember them!] were absolutely seminal NME cover heroes in 1998. Mold-breaking musical mavericks of a generation. Ahem.

Pete Voss: You got any drugs?
Me: What're you after?
Pete Voss: [spits and lisps and looks absolutely fucking fucked, like Bez times twenty] Fucking anything!

Truly, a Moment.

And he's got a new band whose lyrics include the following vignette:

Crush me like a terrapin!

Maybe.

God, I'm sort of glad to be back off the tour. All that name-dropping bollocks. I've met Pete Voss, mate, you can't top that! Hahaha.

I have a LOT of updating to do today, quite a bit has happened.

Wed, 22 Nov 2006 22:15:07 GMT

The lyrics game that everyone seems to be posting is causing me to worry that I am senile. Thank you, my loves!

I can look at the lyrics and hear the songs and know them like a sweet friend of yore but not name them very often. It is obviously alcoholic and aged ruin. Oh me! Has it come to this. music music, my treasure, how can I forget!

Oh dear.

Fret not. I shall WREAK my revenge later!

"I've got a bag of money for you"

Wed, 22 Nov 2006 16:31:17 GMT

It's not every day that someone grins at you happily and utters the words: I've got a bag of money for you!.

Fanzine was a roaring bastard success last night! God bless the Brummies. I could have sold 50 if not 100 copies; people were sharing! and asking for more. And I sold none to my pals nor gave any to the gaggle of bands because it damn well sold out before I could! Yes! I feel brilliantly humbled. Rob Campanella liking the zine was a bit of a special moment. That guy is a dude.

And I know I've got my sneering detractors in this life [ohh jealousy!] and that some twunts belittle fanzines and fanzine writers, but I don't give a flying cunt. I've worked for a national publication and it gave me no satisfaction whatsoever; in fact, it made me feel like a sham. Because fanzines and independent spirit shit ten tonnes over anything corporate. It's not the scale of sales either, it's simply the worthiness; the passion and love and - fuck it - the self-satisfaction in creating something quite lovely. And bringing people together; creating a little culture of your own. So fuck any shit-headed cunt that thinks otherwise.

Hurrah for fanzines! The printed page is still thriving nicely!

"Tambourine Dream"

Tue, 21 Nov 2006 10:55:51 GMT

A dozen issues of Tambourine Dream, my Brian Jonestown Massacre fanzine, have been printed.

Bearing in mind it took 7 hours to print one complete and correct copy last night [don't ask, unless you understand Quark bastard Express and its filthy foibles]...this is a fucking feat! Fuck knows how long it's going to take to print the couple of hundred I need to satiate the advertiser, but still...

I think a drink!

Anton will get the chance to put his footprints on a copy this fair eve.

I thought Tambourine Dream was a fucking beautiful little name - it just came to me, daydream like - and original - and then I found out some hippie fucker from the 60s wrote some song. Grrrrrrr!

Right, I leave for glamorous Wolverhampton* soon [gig gig gig!!!], see ya's!

*Paris, Barcelona, Wolverhampton...doesn't quite work does it? It's a bit Del Boy.

Mon, 20 Nov 2006 12:58:06 GMT

Morrissey's balls for sale on eBay

Flumpet

Sun, 19 Nov 2006 15:21:11 GMT

I was watching my Flumps DVD today...

...and it gave me some ideas.

Flumpet Pete Doherty [ready for din-dins]

Flumpet Anton Newcombe [waving friendly]

Flumpet Shane MacGowan [Legless]

And Flumpet Mark E Smith [clutching beer keg]

Sundays are friggin' boring, aren't they..

Hero!

Thu, 16 Nov 2006 17:45:39 GMT

I'm snowed under at the mo, 'cos the band are in France again. I'm getting requests left right and centre from Magic Piss magazine and the like...you know what the French are like, they call Noddy "wee wee"

Tears of laughter.

View Poll: "The unfinished album"

Goo goo good

Thu, 16 Nov 2006 16:04:52 GMT

Rapture incarnate is The Lea Shores - my very new very favourite band. Velvet Underground style violinisms! Scary starey Kohl-eyed lady onstage! Altogether beauteous strains of sumptuousness. Lull lull lovely.

Goonite got it right last night - again.

Satanic Majesty's request...

Tue, 14 Nov 2006 16:37:07 GMT

evil_mel asked...

1)Have you read a book that's changed your outlook on life?
A book is a part of life, a manifestation of life, just as much as a tree or a horse or a star. It obeys its own rhythms, its own laws, whether it be a novel, a play, or a diary. The deep, hidden rhythm of life is always there - that of the pulse, the heart beat.

2)If you could travel to anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Oh, I want to go to San Fran with flowers in my hair and be a hippie and live the Kerouac dream and have a gander about Anton Newcombe’s old stomping ground! I am scared of America though.

3)If you had to swap lives with someone permanently, who would you swap with?
If I could have at least 20 more teeth, I would be Sire Shane MacGowan so I can be pissed all day, get paid for it, mutter incoherent seer-like splendour and be waited on by a butler.

4)If you lived a life where you didn't achieve anything, would you be unhappy and why?
If I could achieve drunkness and not much else, cool. But seriously, this is a very Zen idea. I like it. It is only society that makes us think we need to be worthwhile and "Do" things. My dog sits around, eats, shits and farts and he’s quite happy.

BUT, on the other side of that coin:

More obscene than anything is inertia.
- Henry Miller

5)How many Antons/ Mark E. Smiths/ Shane MacGowans/ Crack squirrels does it take to change a light bulb?

THIS is what would happen:

Five seconds in
Mark E Smith: Fook this. I’m going down t'pub. Fookin lights work in there! No problems, matey. Fook it.
Anton Newcombe: [Kicks Mark square in the eye]
Mark E Smith: I’ll dock yer wages for that, pal! In fact, yer fookin well sacked.
Mark then throws seventy five finger-bells at Anton until Anton is buried into inertia...
Shane MacGowan: [Wakes up] What’s all the noise? Is it Christmas Eve yet? Am I in the drunk tank? Where’s me butler?
Anton Newcombe kicks Shane in the mouth, leaving him with approximately half a tooth left. A sssssusssssss sound can be heard...
Enter fifteen squirrels on crack
The squirrels smoke some crack then perform majestic ninja moves on Anton until he is dead. Then they go to the pub with Mark and Shane.
Squirrels on crack: Fuck the lightbulb! Mine's a shandy.

---Sound of satisfied shrill fingerbells plays out...several Buddhists join in on a merry dancey march to Filthy MacNasty's...--

...

I enjoyed that. Maybe I ought to become a ~~oh, shit, that was slash, wasn't it?~~ playright?

I want to ask some of YOU some questions now, this is fun! Anyone fancy it?

Mon, 13 Nov 2006 21:33:18 GMT

FUCK IT.

"Into the blue..."

Sat, 11 Nov 2006 16:08:27 GMT

I fucking love and worship the sky in its every form.

A few more pics under a cut on my photo community, oblique_view...

Sat, 11 Nov 2006 13:23:28 GMT

I've deleted a couple of people who don't seem to update ever ever ever. No hard feelings.

Food and drink - mainly drink...

Wed, 08 Nov 2006 18:19:49 GMT

My dad has been drinking a beer called Saint Etienne. How many Indie points does he get?

My new favourite food is sherry vinegar dashed onto thick bread. Mmmm, Espana style!

Tears of absolute laughter

Tue, 07 Nov 2006 16:54:07 GMT

Jesus Christ! I just stumbled across (some Brian Jonestown Massacre fan fiction involving a failed American Pop Idol contestant, an egg and cheese sandwich and Kid Rock) as you do!

I don't think I will ever understand people's need to do fan fiction.

Kate Moss and Karl Marx RIP

Mon, 06 Nov 2006 09:42:46 GMT

I'm not sure if this would be more humorous if I explained it than if I did not. About a handful of you already know the meaning anyway...

Happy things!

Sun, 05 Nov 2006 18:17:42 GMT

I bought a pretty cool music mag in Spain. The music mags are not sensationalist cheap trash over there, they are sophisticated sleek and intelligent analysis. Quite serious.

The free CD made me smile lots tho.

It has a new Deerhoof song on it and the lyrics go:

Ju ju ju ju
BEEP!
BEEP!

Ju ju ju ju
Ju ju ju ju
Ju ju ju ju
BEEP!
BEEP!

Ju ju ju ju
BEEP!
BEEP!

And that is great.

There is also a song about somebody poo-ing clouds.

Barcelona!

Sun, 05 Nov 2006 17:22:37 GMT

The view from Montjuic (mountain)...

Palm tree splendour:

The architecture is Barcelona is a bit special:

Anyway!

Thu, 02 Nov 2006 13:31:20 GMT

Tell me how you all are, i feel very much out of the loop!

i am reading your entries, but its hard to keep up and especially to comment as much as would like to

Apologies to close friends for not being able to email _ but i will maybe have some time later or tomorrow _ altho, i have emailed lj user=nightbirdcackle briefly, not sure if you got it my dear,

this keyboard is crazy

and i feel like ive been away from the uk forever already; its only been,,,a week,

crazy biscuits

love to all xxxx

Im on a french keyboqrd so bear with me

Thu, 02 Nov 2006 13:20:31 GMT

Paris is beauty; madness; squalor and debauchery

last night was a crazy wild Henry Miller vignette = if only i could begin to tell you!! haha; maybe ask me one day when i am drunk;;;; lets just sqy, i truly am Living Living Living Living life) just read some Henry miller anyway, i regard him as a spirited genius, even more so than Kerouac; he knew how to live in every possible way and to its absolute fullest if not beyond - good drink; good food;good sex; good life philosophy; gorging on it all - maniacal like; embracing the very essence of lifes moments

there ought to be some plaques around paris where miller spent his crazed days; i dont know if there are,,

If qll the parisian men are as saucy naughty aas the ones i have encountered so far; well, i just want to live here now, it ccertainly shits allover drab unromantic London from dizzying heights: and even beats bqrcelona = i did not like the chaos of barcelona; Parisians are calmer (êxcept for driving), with melancholy cafe ruminations and slow wanderings and always the wine; they know how to live, better than us english;

Englands gonna be a drag to go back to after all of this adventuresome life = if i do go back; that is

oh, and I think my new hair color is revolutionising the way men respond to me too; which is nice

sorry about the bad spelling and odd punctuation dot dashing all over crazy like; i am all of a fervour and also this keyboard is odd

and now i am hungry; so off i go; clutching my Sartre novel,,,wind in my hair,,

"I´ve walked La Rambla, but not with real intent..."

Sun, 29 Oct 2006 18:23:22 GMT

Hola, bonjour, and a greeting in some other lexicon no doubt too. I´m a bit confused at this stage, as I am second country into things today.

Paris was genius mad fuck riotous brilliance. What a fucking great city. It was made all the better by having a native guide to show me the, er.. sights. Ahem! Heehee. I am loving the way I always end up on a wild rollercoaster ride. So far it´s been all drunk, romance, copious amounts of lovely lovely new people, and top notch rock et roll gigs and anecdotes, not to mention meeting someone I both admire with aplomb and craze, yet see the idiocy of. God bless AA Newcombe, and all that get punched by him...

Lots of stories and capers. Am in process of getting head round it all and have yet to write it all up, so stay tuned, because the adventure is not yet complete.

Today I arrived in Barcelona, all slack-jaw awe at palm trees and mountainous beauty.

For 13 years I have been wanting to come to this city, nee, country. That´s half of my lifetime. Crazy biscuits. I don´t understand this Spanish keyboard otherwise there would´ve been some italicising going on just there to reinforce.

I´ve just had some FUCKING AMAZING tapas goodies. Yum and yum.

Tomorrow I have to find the sea. Wish me luck because right now I am struggling to find a shop that sells alcohol - I mean, this IS me we are talking about here. Donde esta la booze¿¿¿¿¿!!!!

I hope you are all well in boring fucking shitty grey faced England. I never want to come back!

Oh yeah, I´m 26 now. Fuck. But I like that number so it´s okay. It shall be the last great year, you betcha.

My ears are still way fucked from the flight today.

Anyway... yeeeehaaaaw! Onwards!

Love and piss xxxxx

My last night in the capital!

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 12:41:56 GMT

Just on the off-chance that anyone is free tomorrow: anyone for a quick g'bye drink in London?

There are some people I still have not said my bye-byes too...Already got one drinky partner planned, but would be nice to meet up with others too... E-mail or text or drop a comment for me to check later...

Also, I seem to have been left with the following things that i cannot take abroad with me:

- A chainsaw
- 2 bags of Iced Gems
- Some curious red booze
- 3 overdue library books about Zen and buddhism
- My landlady's head [comes in Morrison's carrier bag for ease of transport]

Anyone care to claim any of the above??

Also, would anyone like to assist me in stealing the Syd Barrett graffitied door as pictured in this here icon? It is going to be demolished and we must save it!!!

Whalefish and Xtown_traffic always did scare me...?!!!!

Sat, 21 Oct 2006 00:04:33 GMT

artistic_vices's Halloween party:

0acideyes0 dressed as a part-time software reinstaller.
absent_tumuli dressed as Gabrielle Reece's father.
amadeeeep dressed as a goblin.
angelv dressed as Optimus Prime.
artistic_vices dressed as a bottle of Ronzyljar.
aural_fixations dressed as Lindsay Davenport riding a rat.
bagpussruth dressed as Mary-Kate Olsen with her very own conjoined Ashley.
charlfoo dressed as the Governor of Delaware.
chi_ryu dressed as a bottle of Malaleedine.
cityofsatan dressed as the President of Germany.
dadadreamer dressed as Mary-Kate Olsen with her very own conjoined Ashley.
dansette dressed as the Lord of ElmVillage.
dolliemixture dressed as Tom Cruise.
dontlethergo dressed as Nicole Richie.
elegiacstanzas dressed as a second baseman for the Giants.
elrestodemivida dressed as a character from Harry Potter and the Mermaid of Flame, though it looked more like a new superhero: Snow -wave.
evenpolarbears dressed as a Level 1 sorcerer.
evil_mel dressed as a new superhero: Blue -streak.
fatsothewombat dressed as a resolution, though it looked more like a kicker for the Chargers.
giallorossi dressed as the spirit of their dead grandmother Patricia.
glassarmy didn't even show up and doesn't get any candy.
hazyjayne dressed as a knight.
helvissa dressed as a disturbing self-made character called "Snotty Cootiebrain".
hengist_pod dressed as a 1970's disco child.
hiplikejesus didn't even show up and doesn't get any candy.
hulmerist dressed as the equator.
laura_wolf dressed as a pimp.
leeree dressed as a rat, and it suited them all too well.
longwaysouth dressed as a character from "Shadow of a Doubt".
mellowdoubt dressed as a new member of the Wu-Tang Clan, Crazy Pupil.
moggerz didn't dress up, spoilsport.
morgan99 dressed as Rutherford B. Hayes.
my_name_is_anna dressed as Barney the dinosaur.
my_red_dream dressed as the Nasty Power Ranger.
nicobobinus dressed as a reversible ground.
nightbirdcackle dressed as the Archbishop of Flunalmax.
onlysuperstitio dressed as a 1970's disco child.
opalfruit dressed as a quarterback for the Saints.
palespectre dressed as a sub-adjunct sheet spreader.
pettythief dressed as a mummy.
phenomenal_cat dressed as Gisele Bundchen.
pobiskewl dressed as something sympathetic, but what, specifically, you can't tell.
primary_benelux dressed as a Leah's Publishing employee.
pure_pain dressed as Dick Cheney.
purple_aurora82 dressed as a raccoon.
quadropheniac dressed as the Delayed Power Ranger.
ripperlyn dressed as Marilyn Manson.
run_comrades dressed as a circulation.
seawaif dressed as Jennifer Garner, though it looked more like a pirate.
shane_macgowan dressed as a cigarette box.
sir_guernica dressed as a large vortex.
skitster dressed as the love child of Dick Cheney and Susan Lucci.
sym_ani dressed as your sister.
tokaipenny dressed as Jerry Bruckheimer.
tragic_stiletto dressed as a horse.
viollete dressed as Master Shake.
vyctorya dressed as your grandfather.
warlockuk dressed as Worf from "Star Trek", and it suited them disturbingly well.
whalefish dressed as Catherine Zeta-Jones.
wicker_girl dressed as a giant skeleton.
xtown_traffic gets drunk, strips naked, and somehow emerges dressed as James Madison.

Throw your own party at the Hallomeme!
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